Love Means Nothing
by Invisibly Gone
Summary: No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't ignore her sitting across from me. Whenever she saw me look in her general direction, she'd give me a look of joy. "It's not fair. You can't just look so happy with me now when you stopped being my friend two years ago." Tennis/HS/Modern/Unrelated AU Bro!Kristoff
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I don't own anything! Frozen belongs to Disney, not me. **

* * *

"_No, it's like this." _

_I turned the racket in my hand, mirroring the girl in front of me. She gently took my hand and rewrapped my fingers around the handle in a much more relaxed grip than I originally had. I let go of the racket handle and gripped it again in position she had put me in._

"_Good! Now try moving it like this."_

_She demonstrated a swing then gestured for me to try it. The first handful of times, my swings are awkward and clumsy unlike her smooth motion. She coaches me through it in her soft voice, correcting my movements and showing me where I should bend and where I shouldn't._

_Several more attempts later, she deems it good enough to move on to actually hitting a ball. She has me stand just behind the service line with my torso facing the net and my feet shoulders' width apart. She beckons for me to shift into the 'ready' position she had demonstrated earlier. It doesn't feel quite right. It's not as natural as the way she held herself when she stood like this. I wonder if I'll ever look that graceful._

_She drops the ball to the side and slightly in front of me, telling me to swing. I don't miss, but it's not a good hit. I swung too hard and the ball hit the other side's fence. She chides me for swinging too hard and tells me to relax. I grin sheepishly but I do as she says. The ball hits the net before rolling back me._

_She corrects me and we try yet again. After what feels like a hundred swings, I manage to hit 5 into the other side of the court in a row._

"_Very good! Now let's try backhands."_

_I groan. She laughs. We repeat this with other strokes for the next two hours and I wonder how she even puts up with my mistakes. At the end of the day, when we're sitting on the steps in front of the courts, waiting for our rides, she pulls me into a hug, saying how proud she is of me._

_I don't know whether she was saying that because she was genuinely proud or if she was being nice because we were friends. I choose to simply accept the compliment and hug her back._

_She pulls back and grimaces._

"_Gross, you're sweaty." _

_I laugh and pull her back into another hug, purposely getting as much sweat on her as possible._

* * *

The rumbling that had rocked me to sleep had stopped. I hear shuffling around me.

"Anna, time to wake up. We're here."

I groan, but it comes out more like a whimper. "'Here' where?"

I hear a scoff from somewhere behind me but I ignore it. I rub the sleep out of my eyes and stretch, twisting this way and that, to get the sleep out of the rest of my system. I take a second to look around. My backpack is leaned against the bus wall and it has some drool on it. I scowl before wiping it with my sleeve. My racket bag is on the floor. Huh. I thought I put it next to me.

I don't remember what happened next- I was still in drowsy- but in the next five minutes, I was next to a bench that had my belongings under it. Someone says that she's going to the restroom and asks if anyone else is going. In total, 6 people- half the team- go. I pull one of my rackets and a water bottle from my bag. I consider taking off my sweater but decide against it. I look at the members of the team that remain.

I try to be confident, but I falter. I've been to school with most of the people for the past five years, but I don't really know most of them. The ones that I do know don't really like me. I look at the girls remaining and wonder which one I'm actually on good terms with. After a while, I decide.

"Um, hi," I start. Can I sound any more unconfident?

"Hi," says the Asian girl in front of me. Her name's Mulai, I think.

"Uh, do you want to, like, hit with me?" I gesture to the court. I'm a little disgusted at how unconfident I sound, but I hide it.

She agrees and we grab a few balls and head out to the court. I offer to take the sunny side, hoping it'll gain me a bit of favor from her. As we're rallying, I can't help but analyze her playing style. It's stiff. She tucks herself in way too much and doesn't follow through with her swing at all. I feel miffed but bite my tongue. I remind myself that I wasn't much better just a few months ago. I remind myself that not everyone's crazy enough spend 8 hours a day, 6 days a week playing tennis for their entire summer.

In the real world, I'm being chatty and energetic. I try to come off as genial. I'm usually known for being really friendly and I would like to keep that reputation, but sometimes I get a bit over the top and overwhelm people. _She_ has pointed it out before. _She_ stopped talking to me because of it. I wonder if_ she_ even knows that she's the reason I'm even here.

My name's Anna. Anna Snow. Okay, that sounded much better in my head. I'm a junior at Arendelle High School and I'm the only new player on Varsity Girls' Tennis this year. That means I'm the one who is always left to clean water bottles off the court and move our team stuff back into the supply room after practices. I think I'm supposed to do that at games, too, but this is our first game so I'm not sure yet.

To the people who have been on the team for the last three years, I'm known as the Team Phenomenon. I'm not the one who came up with that name. The varsity coach was. In freshman year, I only joined the team because _she_ was on it. She was this amazing player and I was the worst player on the team. In sophomore year, she moved to varsity and suddenly I was the star junior varsity player that the coach wished he had put on varsity. He offered me a starting position but I declined. This year, I'm the only new player on varsity and she was favored to be MVP this year and captain next year. I smile at the thought.

The rest of the team came back from the restroom and our coach pairs us off. "Okay, Singles 1 and Doubles 1, pair off! The same thing goes for 2 and 3!"

We divide ourselves onto the courts. Today, I'm Singles 2. Our coach says it's to manipulate how the other players react to us. Singles 1 is the best, which is to be expected, and Singles 3 is second best. Theoretically, the other players would wear themselves out with Singles 1 and Singles 2 and would be easy pickings for Singles 3. I'm upset but don't show. I grin in agreement.

Unfortunately, that meant Singles 1, our captain, is on my left, which was perfectly fine to me, but _she_ was on my right. My rallies are reasonably good but I'm constantly distracted by her. Mulai, who is on Doubles 2, walks up to the net and throws a ball right at my torso. I'm not paying attention and it hits me.

"Hey, pay attention."

I scratch the back of my head and grin, moving in to position to show that I'm now paying attention. I apologize as I'm moving.

"Mulan! Stop picking on her," shouts her partner. Oh. Whoops. Her name's Mulan, not Mulai. Good thing I didn't call her by name. That would have been embarrassing. Anna, known for remembering the names and faces of everyone she has ever played and any friends that she has ever made, can't remember her own teammates name. Aren't I great? Wow, I'm being caustic today.

Mulan points to me and then points to _her_ and a look of understanding dawns on her doubles partner's face. Oh! I remember her name now! She's Jasmine. I'm glad no one can read my thoughts or they would have laughed. I met Mulan in 6th grade and Jasmine in 5th. You'd think I'd recall their names easily, but nope.

Wait, what are they doing? Something bright green, a ball, flies passed me and Jasmine's running back to her original side of the court. After what probably set a land speed record, Jasmine was just behind her side of the net, pretending like nothing had happened. What _did_ just happen?

Someone's calling my name. Crap, it's _her_. And she's trying to talk to me. Double crap. Double poop. Double poopsicles. Okay, I need to stop spending so much time with guys. Crap, crap, crap. She's talking directly to me. Respond, brain! Come on, you can do this!

"Uh…" Great job. Nailed it. Totally. Oh look, I'm being sarcastic again. She's talking, she's talking! Listen, damn it!

"Hey, is this yours, Bananna?" Damn it, why does she have to use that nickname. I want to be annoyed, but I know that, no matter what she calls me, I'd be happy that she's even talking to me.

I pull the lip of my hat down to hide my eyes. I mumbled, "Yeah. Thanks."

She tosses the ball to me. I look up, chancing a glance at her. She's staring at me intently. Oh shoot. _Pretend you're normal_, I think to myself. A split second pause. She smiles softly at me.

"No problem." And then she's back to her own court. In that 15 second interaction, she managed to melt my heart all over again and I hate it.

I can hear Mulan and Jasmine snickering from all the way across the court. I give them the best glare I can. It was time to work on serves now and I paid them back by hitting them as hard as I could. I think they regretted their actions at the end of our warm-up session.

While we were waiting for the line-up, I took off my sweater and wiped my face with the shirt I had been wearing at school. I look at the shirt, noticing how it was soaked in perspiration. _Eck. Well, it's not like I'm going to wear it again today._ I toss the soaked shirt back into my racket bag.

Thinking back to the warm-up, I'm kind of happy. We behaved like how friends would while playing together. Maybe we could be friends. I don't know.

I may have known these two girls since grade school, but I didn't actually go to school with them for long. You could say I'm stunted in the friendship department despite being called "one of the friendliest people in school."

I moved around a lot while growing up. In 4th grade, I moved to this town. Every few months, I'd move to a new school. I've been to every elementary and middle school in this district and half of the ones in the surrounding districts. I've met almost everyone who goes to Arendelle before and most of them remember me even though I don't know any of them very well.

In October of 8th grade, we stopped moving and it was the first time in forever where I went to a school for longer than 3 months. I kept my distance from everyone while remaining amicable for the first five months of school, constantly expecting to hear that we were going to be moving again. I tried to settle into school when my parents said that we weren't going to be moving anymore, but it's difficult to adjust when you're so used to losing people. In a sense, I grew up in a confined situation.

Our coach calls us over for line-up and we do introductions. The first person I'm playing, I recognize. I'm pretty sure I went to school with her sometime in 7th grade. She recognizes me as well. I was correct. I went to school with her during January in 7th grade while I went to Corona Middle School.

We catch up while we're rallying, trading snippets of information. She says that she's missed me and wished that I had taken the time to talk to her after I moved. I feel bad and apologize, promising that I'd text her sometime tomorrow. She smiles. After our set, I won 6-3, we trade phone numbers. I add Rapunzel onto the ever growing contact list on my phone.

At the end of the day, our coach is going over the score sheet.

"Girls, because this was a scrimmage, I won't force you to participate in an after game practice, but I expect better. However, I'm proud that you tried," he spoke. He paused and cast a glance at me. "I'm especially proud of Anna, who won all three of her sets! 6-3, 6-2, and 6-2!"

There's clapping in the bus and I try to hide myself in my sweater, which I had put back on. _She_, who was sitting across the aisle from me, beamed at me with pride. I pull my hood over my eyes. I'm tired and I just want to sleep now.

Our coach continues. "I still expect better next time. 6-12 is not a winning score."

Throughout the entire bus ride, I couldn't sleep. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't ignore her sitting across from me. Whenever she saw me look in her general direction, she'd give me a look of joy.

_It's not fair,_ I think to myself. _You can't just look so happy with me now when you stopped being my friend two years ago_, _Elsa._


	2. Chapter 2

When we got back to school, I didn't need to put the ball basket or water jugs back into the storage room. Apparently, being a good player had a perk known as "not having to actually do anything else." Now, I'm just sitting here by the pool gate, waiting for my brother to pick me up.

"Do you need a ride?"

I twitch at the sudden noise. I look up and it's Elsa, her hair still in a ponytail. She had worn a visor during the game but had now taken it off. The top of her hair was mostly neat, but I could see stray hairs. It just clicked that she's offering me a ride.

_Take it, Anna_, I think to myself. My traitorous mouth declines her offer. _Damn it_.

"Oh, okay," she mumbled, sounding dejected. "Can I sit here?" She points to the vacant spot next to me. It's hard to deny her, considering that there is no one else around me. I nod.

She sets her bags down on the floor and sits down between me and her belongings. Between the two of us, we managed to have three times more bags than there are people. It was just the two of us and we managed to have six bags. I chuckled before I realized it and now she's giving me an odd look.

"What's so funny?" she inquires. I point to the bags in front of us and she understands what I mean. _I always liked that about her,_ I find myself musing. _She's never needed for me to explain something to understand why I thought it was funny_.

An awkward silence falls upon us. It's almost palpable. I rake my mind for anything to say, anything to make some light-hearted conversation. I miss my chance and her grandfather's car pulls up.

Elsa scrambles to pick up her bags before standing up. She just stands there for a second, fidgeting. I see that she's running her hand on her other arm, a nervous habit she's had since I've known her. She asks me again if I need a ride, but, before I can answer, my brother's car pulls up right behind her grandfather's. She stutters a bit before she leaves. I follow her shortly after, getting in my brother's car.

I'm silent during the ride home and Kristoff notices. He tries to say something funny to get me to lighten up but I remain silent for the short ride home.

Mom's out for the night so we order out. Kristoff wants pizza and I hate it. We compromise and order a large combo pizza for him and two lasagna bowls for myself. For the rest of the evening, I'm mostly quiet. I shower while he goes out to pick up the food. I take longer than usual. In general, I take quick showers, disliking being confined within the small walls of the shower. Today, I noticed that I stayed in there for an hour.

There was no homework today so I went to sleep as soon as I finished eating. Kristoff doesn't comment, used to me being stubborn about what I want to do. Towards midnight, I hear a knock on my door.

"Anna, I know you're not asleep," comes my brother's gruff voice through the door. With it having been silent for the past few hours, his resonating voice is a shock to my ears. I see the door knob turning. _Damn, I forgot to lock it._

He pushes the door open and seats himself on my desk's chair.

"You left the door open," I point out.

"It's in case you want to kick me out," he jokes. I smile. Even though I think he's annoying and really loud when he's playing his games in the middle of the night, I know my brother actually cares. He doesn't do big, over the top things to show it, but I do appreciate the small things he does.

"So what's wrong?" He doesn't look worried, but I can tell he is.

"It's nothing." I try to brush it off.

"I know you better than that, Anna." And he does, because he's probably the best brother ever. I'm not going to say that to him, though. I still hope he knows it.

He rotates between asking probing questions and making inappropriate jokes. By 3 A.M., he hasn't given up and I haven't said anything meaningful. He looks at the time and gets up.

"Whatever's wrong, Anna," he starts. "I'm here for you, okay?" He turns off the light, leaves my room, and closes the door. A few seconds later, he comes back in and forcibly tucks me in before leaving again.

* * *

_"He got in!" she shouts excitedly. She's beaming, completely and utterly taken with pride and excitement. I grin back at her, happy for her and her brother._

_ We're standing behind the gym and no one else is around us. She pulls my arms towards her and tries to get me to spin in a circle with her. The sudden touch makes me freeze. I snap out of it but it's too late, she looks a bit upset._

_I don't want to be a downer for her so I pull her into a hug, holding her tightly to me. She squeaks at the movement. I bury my face into her neck, take a deep breath, and proceed to spin her around. She squeaks again and I laugh. I put her back on the ground and relax my grip. She takes a small step back and I get a clear look at her face._

_ Her face is stained with tears of joy and she has a small smile. Unadulterated happiness is shining from her eyes. Thankfully, she doesn't wear make-up so there are no mascara stains. I pull her back a little closer and our noses gently touch together._

_ Right now, she is the most beautiful thing in the world and I want this moment to last forever._

* * *

I wake up a minute before my alarm clock goes off and I turn it off before it can start ringing. I jump out of bed and open up the blinds. I've always been more of a morning person and I get grumpier as the day goes on. By sunset, all I want to do is curl into a ball and sleep._ The sky's awake, so I'm awake_, I think to myself.

I pull open my drawers and look at the clothes available. I make a note to wash clothes when I get home. For now, I pull on jeans and a t-shirt and throw a pair of shorts into my racket bag.

When I finish getting ready for school, it's only ten passed seven. I debate whether I should eat more food or just start heading to school. It's only a 15 minute walk so I make another toasted bagel with cream cheese before heading out, eating along the way.

By the time I get to school, it's half passed and I've finished my bagel. _If I get to the school library in two minutes, I can meet her right at the door_, I find myself contemplating. Then, just under two minutes later, I find myself at the library doors, walking right next to Elsa. I greet her and she returns the sentiment.

We go in and I take the first available seat I see. Surprisingly, Elsa sits across from me. _Well, that's a first_. At school, we have block schedule. Today's Wednesday so we have odd numbered classes. That means I have history, English, then Gaming. I push the image of Elsa in front of me out of my mind and pull out my history notebook. I read through the notes to prepare for the daily quiz.

"Anna?" Oh, Elsa's saying my name. I look up from my notebook. "Can you explain this?"

I think it's odd that Elsa needs anything explained to her. She's the second top student at school and I'm rank 19. Theoretically, I should be the one asking for her help. I push that thought aside and look at the notebook she's pointing to. It's physics. I glance over the text, looking for what she could possibly be confused about.

"What's giving you problems?" The page she's looking at contains simple concepts. There's nothing else on the page other than free-body diagrams.

She stutters over her words. _Cute_. "Uh… How do you know when something's a force or not?"

We spend the rest of the morning working on free-body and force diagrams, going over formulas and when they apply. This girl somehow makes what I thought was simple become overly complicated. _But you still enjoyed every second of it_, voiced my traitorous thoughts.

The bell rang and we went to class. I'm not really paying attention in class, but that's okay. My history teacher rambles on about ethics and after two hours, we're released for break. I head to the area I've been hanging out at during break lately and meet up with my tentative friends.

Our spot is the farthest corner of the area we're allowed to be in during break. It's as far away from the main entrance as you can get while staying within the boundaries. There's a brick in garden area on the side of the English building that we usually put our bags on and some tables a few feet away.

As I'm walking down the hall, I see Adam and Philip off to the side of our spot having some private conversation. Florian, who disliked going by his first name, Ferdinand, is talking to someone I can't see. Said someone was obstructed from my view by the corner of the building. As I get closer, I see wisps of blond hair. I'm about to turn and go the other direction but Florian sees me.

"Hey, Anna!" _Damn it._

"Hey," I mumble. "Where are Ella and Ariel?"

It seems like Florian didn't notice my ire because he's still jovial. I'm now close enough where I can take off my bags. Elsa's completely visible to me now. She waves heartily and smiles at me. I give a half-hearted wave back. I can see that she frowns a little but she covers it up quickly. Florian says something about them getting breakfast. I don't see them during break.

For the entirety of break, Florian carries the conversation. I don't believe he even noticed the uncomfortable atmosphere he was in. The bell rang for class and I quickly pick up my bags and start heading to my class down the hall. Some seconds later, Elsa's by my side. She said something and I laughed. I like conversations like this. We're alone but surrounded by people. It's nice.

We've arrived at my class and we part ways. She continues on to her drama class. I'm distracted for the entirety of class, thinking about Elsa. _Damn it, why is she so confusing?_

* * *

It's Thursday, time for the next game. Now I just need to get out of class so I can go play.

I raise my hand, trying to get my Latin teacher's attention. She gives me the homework for the weekend and waves me out. My classmates give me words of encouragement and tell me to beat the other team. I grin and say that I'll do my best.

When I leave the classroom, the first thing I did was crash into my teammate. I stepped back and apologized for my clumsiness.

"You know," laughed Mulan, whom I had crashed into. "For such a good tennis player, you're really clumsy."

I grin at her. "I can run perfectly fine, but walking is a bit of a challenge."

"Hey, where are you changing?" she asks while chuckling. I think about it for a second.

"The restroom by the stairs, I guess." She smiles at me. I'm confused. _Why is that a good thing?_

"Great! Can you get Elsa from her class? She has history right now." I repress a groan but agree to it. It makes sense, after all. The main junior year history teacher's class is right next to the restroom I was heading towards. Mulan thanked me and started to head back towards the courts. She shouted over her shoulder, "Just meet us at the bus!"

Minutes later, I find myself standing just inside the history classroom, fidgeting as I wait for Elsa to finish packing her belongings. We leave the class together and go to the restroom. We change in the stalls and I'm the first one to finish. I tie my hair up and put on my red hat. I'm about to leave the restroom when a voice calls me back.

"Can you wait for me?" I don't say anything but lean against the wall across from the stalls, making sure that I made enough sound for Elsa to know that I was still there. She comes out of her stall, halfway through tying her hair up.

I stare at her. She stares back. I continue staring. She blushes.

"Your tank top is backwards," I point out. A giggle escapes me as she scurries back into the stall and emerges again a minute later.

"Now you're perfect." _Shit, did I say that out loud?_

Several hours later, we're on the bus back to school. At some point, Elsa, who was originally sitting across the aisle from me again, had moved all of our belongings onto her seat and moved her body onto mine. Mulan, who's sitting behind us, snickers. I take an empty water bottle from my bag and throw it at her. Elsa gives me a questioning look but I don't explain.

The school we played against today was 50 minutes away. During those minutes, Elsa and I found ourselves sharing ear buds and listening to music. Half an hour into the bus ride, she falls asleep while using me as a pillow.

I don't really know what to do now. On one hand, this is a really comfortable position and I would enjoy remaining like this for a very long time. On the other, this was Elsa. _You're not friends,_ I reminded myself. But how could we not be friends? She's sharing seats with me when no one on the team ever shares seats. I sigh quietly. For now, I take this small blessing-_ it's a curse, don't kid yourself_- and shift my position. I lean my back against the bus window and Elsa's back is against me. I cover her with my jacket and sit in the silence that enveloped us, ignoring the sounds of my teammates.

The soft sounds of a violin continued to emit from the forgotten ear buds.

_You're strange_, _Elsa, but I still love you_. _Even if that doesn't seem to matter to you_.


	3. Chapter 3

One week and a day later, I found myself on the school tennis courts. Our coach is mad at us because we lost the last two games. He decided that he'd hold practice Friday after school for the first time.

Over that time, I hadn't seen much of Elsa other than in classes and during practice. As soon as the bell rang for the end of class, she'd disappear for break or lunch and come back into existence when class started. She's not in the library in the morning, either. It doesn't faze me. She used to randomly disappear all the time. It's no surprise that she still does.

Lately, my mind has been preoccupied by Elsa and I think about the time we've spent together. We met in 8th grade, when I finally stopped moving. Over time, we became good friends. Then, late January of freshman year, she ended things. _We used to be best buddies, _I remember. _And now we're not_. She never told me why.

* * *

_It's cold. _Well, it's your own fault for not wearing a jacket_, my brain reminds me. I hate the cold, but I look over at Elsa, my jacket wrapped around her thinner frame, and don't regret it. She says the cold doesn't bother her, but I don't want her getting sick._

_ It's sixth period right now, but tennis season is over so we're just sitting together behind the gym, watching the hours tick by. For the most part, it's quiet and we're watching the clouds pass by. Another gust of wind reminds me of how cold it is. I'm grateful that it doesn't snow in this town._

_ I feel Elsa staring at me and I turn my head to look at her. She's looks worried. "Anna, I don't really need the jacket. Wear it, you're cold."_

_ I shake my head, insisting that she keeps it. She continues to pester me, concerned that I'll become ill. I wrap my arms around her, pinning her arms and my jacket to her body. She doesn't resist the contact. After a while, she relaxes and concedes. _

_ "I like it like this," I whisper to her. "I wish it could last forever."_

_ She leans into me and makes a sound of agreement. She feels cold. _The cold doesn't bother you, Elsa? I'm going to keep you warm anyway.

_ "Do you happen to know how to freeze time?" I joke. I kiss the top of her head, continuing to enjoy the moment. Her eyes close and she dozes off. I sit in the silence for a while. _

_I don't know how I have this amazing girl in my arms. She's absolutely beautiful. She's smart. She's talented. She's athletic. She's kind. I can't even begin to comprehend why she would want to be friends with me, plain Anna, and spend so much of her time with me when she could have anyone else. I don't think about it too hard, choosing to just enjoy this moment. _

_She must have been very tired because she didn't wake up for another hour. When she did wake up, I wished that she hadn't and I had just fallen asleep. _

_She pushed me away, eyes wide and nervous. I don't know what's going on through her mind. She's standing up and backing away. Suddenly, she's composed again but she's still standing far away from me. I stand up and carefully make my way towards her. I walk slowly, giving her time to come back or run away. She stands still._

"_W-what's wrong?" I inquire. I can hear the worry dripping off of my voice. My stuttering is back as well. My actions show how worried I feel before my thoughts have caught up to the moment._

_She starts backing up again. "I'm so sorry," she whispers. At least I think that's what she said. _

_Before I know it, she's run passed me, grabbed her bag, and left. I'm left standing there, dumbfounded. _What just happened?

_Over the next few days, I try to talk to her, to ask her what happened, to fix whatever was wrong. She didn't respond and avoided me like the plague. She didn't sit with me during classes anymore and left campus as soon as sixth period started. I feel hurt and alone. I don't know how she feels._

_Days turned weeks, weeks turned to months, and months became two years. I make new friends, but none that I was as close to as I was with Elsa. I find myself scared of being close to people again and keep everyone at arm's length. _

_I share some classes with Elsa, but she always sits on the far side of the room. Sophomore year, I opted out of sixth period tennis and kept it as a seventh period, going so far as to take an extra class to fill the period so I wouldn't have to see Elsa._

_I try giving her space, I try pleading, I try changing my own person, but I don't know what to do. _Did I do something wrong? _is something I constantly find myself wondering. Eventually, I try letting go and forgetting, but I can't. I still care for the girl and I hate myself for it._

* * *

Most of the team is late and, before I realize it, I spent the first half hour of practice just hitting with him because no one else is there. About ten minutes later, I notice that some of my teammates are just watching him and me hit. I push it to the back of my mind. He catches the ball and walks towards the gate, calling everybody in.

After running laps around the courts and doing some footwork exercises, he splits us up. He's working with our Singles and Doubles captains individually, and the rest of us are sent to the other courts until he tells us to rotate. Unlike usual practice, we just play sets today until he calls us in for individual work. That means we have to play Singles versus Singles, Doubles versus Doubles. I'll admit that it's good practice, but it means that I'm spending most of today's practice with Elsa. I can't tell whether that's good or bad.

We try to start out seriously. We really tried. However, it was awkward just hitting a ball back and forth in silence during the pregame warm-up. When it's awkward, I start goofing off. It was small at the beginning. I just let my natural clumsiness take over and I tripped over my own racket. Somehow, I did. I don't even know how. Don't ask me how.

When we finally started, I was very verbal with berating myself. Our coach made me run a lap for profanity after I loudly yelled, "Fuck!" I blame that on my racket again. I sneezed mid-serve and smacked myself in the leg. If it had been a practice serve, that would have been okay. Unluckily for me, it was my second serve of the game and I was going full speed. And let me tell you, a racket going fast enough to hit a ball at 70 miles per hour to the leg hurts like hell. _The pain's worth it though_, I muse to myself when I see Elsa smiling.

The first game is over so we switch sides. She won this game. We stop at the side of the net to drink water. I manage to dribble some down my shirt. I mumble something about needing to be less clumsy and she snorts while drinking water. I take the water bottle out of her hand and pat her back. After a while, her choking calms down significantly.

"I'm okay, I'm okay," she wheezed out. I continue patting her back softly, switching over to a small rubbing motion. I grin at her.

"You sure you don't need CPR? I'm licensed," I joke. _Shit, I really had to say that, did I?_ Elsa's blushing and looks nervous, but the mood feels lighter somehow.

Over the next two games, we keep talking even while we're in the middle of rallying. I think we actually played better while talking. I win the next two and we switch sides again. After I take a sip of water, I lie on the floor. The dust on the court sticks to my sweat-covered arms. Elsa lightly taps my side with her foot.

"Come on," she coaxed. "Let's finish already."

I cover my eyes with an arm. "No. I'm taking the one minute break."

I can hear her blow air out of her nose, but I can feel her sit down next to me.

"Come on." _Persistent thing._ I move my arm and look at her. I expected her to look unhappy with me, but she's smiling. I can't help grinning back.

"And if I refuse, Little Buggy?" I don't show how odd I feel saying that nickname again. If she's bothered by it, she's very good at appearing unperturbed. If anything, I think her smile only widens.

"I know you're ticklish, Bananna." _Shoot._ I get up and run to my side of the court. She walks over to her side, smirk evident on her face. I glare and she waves back cheerfully.

I'm not sure exactly what changed between the beginning of practice and now, but halfway through the next game, we're giggling messes on the floor. Our coach glances over and looks like he wants to say something but leaves us alone.

Five minutes later, we're still giggling messes. We haven't gotten back up to play but we're still shouting random things across the court at each other, sending ourselves back into another fit of laughter.

I manage to compose myself enough to get off the floor when I see a teacher talking to our coach. When the teacher leaves, our coach calls us in.

"Okay, guys. Arendelle's going into an emergency on-site shelter in 10 minutes," he began. "So if you guys want to leave campus in the next few hours, leave now."

After a resounding, "Yes, Coach Eugene," everyone leaves the courts. _Isn't his name Flynn? _I ask one of the girls on the team about this. Merida, the only other red head on the team, explains how his girlfriend encouraged him to use his actual name. Flynn was the nickname he used while growing up._ I wonder if this is the Eugene Rapunzel's dating._ It'd make sense. Our coach only graduated two years ago. It's within a reasonable dating range and she did say he went to this school. _Eh, Eugene isn't that uncommon of a name, _I think and I push that off to the side.

* * *

"Okay, bye," I mumbled into my phone. Kristoff doesn't finish class until later. _Looks like I'm walking home today._ The gates leading from the tennis courts to the main entrance are locked so I head towards the parking lot. I pass by the pool at the back of the parking lot and see Elsa. She waves and beckons for me to come and sit down.

"Hey." When I sit down, she scoots over closer to me.

"Hi," she replies, fidgeting with her visor. She looks like she's struggling with what to say next. "Do you need a ride?"

_Say yes, it'll be like old times_. _And you do need a ride this time._ "No, I'm fine." _Bloody hell, Anna._ "But I can wait with you. I mean, if you want me to." _Well, that's one step in the right direction…I think._

"I'd like that." She's smiling. I like her smile.

_I wonder if you remember us being close friends._

"Do you remember when we were friends?" _Did I say that out loud? _But it's not me. Elsa turned to the sky and she looks… _She looks so lost_.

I swallow the lump that suddenly formed in my throat. I try to say something but words aren't coming out of my mouth. I nod, but she's not looking my way. I think she noticed because she turned towards me. She has a sad smile. _You look so alone._ More than anything right now, I want to hug her. I want to tell her everything, whatever it is, will be okay. But I can't. My voice isn't working.

"I miss that." She looks so broken.

"We can have that again," I find myself saying. My voice sounds all scratched up. I feel wetness on my face. _Am I crying?_ I'm not. It started raining. The rain is wet and warm. I take off my jacket and cover our heads with it.

Elsa hasn't said anything else. I use whatever courage I have to speak up again. "We can be friends again, Elsa. If you want, I'll always be here for you."

Now she's crying and I don't know what to do. I use a thumb to try to gently wipe away her tears. She jerked and I accidently scratched her cheek. A thin line of blood is gathering on the scratch. She wipes her tears away and stands up. I feel like I did something wrong until I notice her grandfather's car parked in front of us.

She looks so sorry. "A-are you sure you don't need a ride?" She's stuttering and I can tell that her nose is stuffy. I decline, this time on purpose. "O-oh. O-okay." She wipes her face again and leaves.

I walk home in the warm rain. _Does it seem salty?_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I'm a girl.**

* * *

DTL: Wednesday, Lunch Time, School Library

I always had strange 'luck'. I don't know what else to call it when my physics teacher randomly assigns partners and always seems to pair Elsa and me together. Of course, that meant that when we were assigned a poster project yesterday, Elsa and I were going to be working on it today during lunch. In another time, this would have made me the happiest person ever. Right now, I'm just grateful that I have a competent partner.

Currently, Elsa's hunched over one of the school library's tables, carefully drawing a barometer. Having finished my part, I just take this time to look at her. Her hair's down but pushed back with a thin blue headband. I look closer and I notice tiny snowflakes stitched onto it. I feel like it's familiar but can't place where I've seen it before.

_Oh look, she's biting her lip._ Sometimes, when I see her, I can't help but be struck by how pretty she is. She doesn't wear make-up during season but her natural beauty still radiates from her. I hope I'm not staring too noticeably but by the time I think that, Elsa's done and looking right at me. Specifically, she's looking at my arms.

She leans her head on her hand and taps her finger against her temple. "You know, I don't get the point of you wearing long sleeves."

_Oh. Awkwardness avoided, then._ I shrug. "I get cold easily."

She heaves an exasperated sigh and it looks elegant. _How does she do that? _"The sleeves aren't going to help you if you always roll them up."

I grin. "It works well enough." Before I know it, my mouth continues. "Besides, if I get cold, you'll warm me up, right?" _At least you didn't say she's hot enough to keep you both warm, Anna._ I keep grinning, hoping to play it off as something I normally say.

She raises an eyebrow and gives me a pointed look before firmly saying, "Right." _Wait, what?_

Before I can ask what she means, the bell rings and we pack up. As we walk out of the library, there's a sharp tearing sound and Elsa stops walking. Her racket sleeve had caught onto the bar of the door and was torn open. Her change of clothes and- _Okay, I didn't need to know it was TOM for her-_ her racket are half falling out of the sleeve. I think I hear her curse under her breath, but I'm not sure.

I bend down to help her and I can see her face, red with embarrassment. She's moving a bit too frantically to properly put things away. I take one of her wrists in my hand.

"Hey, it's alright," I try to say soothingly. I stack her clothes together quickly, sandwiching her personal things between them so no one sees. I'm used to dropping my things all the time and this is just a fluid movement for me now. "Here, you can put these in your backpack. I can hold onto your racket for now."

It's just a small accident, but she's a stammering mess. "T-thanks, but it's alright. I can just take it."

I don't actually give her a choice. I'm already putting it into my tennis bag, saying something about how "it's a three-pack so there's plenty of space."

"Don't worry about it, Elsa," I assure her. "I have some extra racket sleeves at home so I can give you one."

She looks down. "I don't want to be a problem for you."

My eyes widen at this but she's looking down so I doubt she noticed. With as much conviction as I can muster, I stated, "You could never be a bother to me."

She looks up and I grin. "Besides, if anything is going to be a problem, it's telling our rackets apart. We have the same kind."

She smiles and I want to hug her, but I don't. Instead, I pull her sleeve lightly and offer to walk her to class. _It's the least you could do,_ I justify to myself. _It's on the way and she looks like she's going to cry_.

Her class, Advanced Latin I think, is just down the hall and we take our time walking there. _Seven minute passing periods can be very useful_, I joke to myself. It doesn't seem like Elsa's in the mood for talking so I don't push her. Repressing my chattiness is much harder than it should be. We pass by a trashcan and I toss the broken sleeve into it.

We've arrived at her class and I wish her a good time in class. I'm tempted to wait for her to actually go in before leaving. When I actually look at her again is when I notice something's off. She just stands there, fidgeting again. Finally, she whispers something.

"What?" She mumbles again.

"…No, I really can't hear you, Elsa."

She takes a deep breath- _calming herself? –_ and says, "Thank you."

I think I'm smiling like an idiot right now. I don't even know why. "You don't need to thank me for anything, Elsa." I turn away to walk to Gaming, which happens to be just around the corner and two doors down. I don't know why I think Elsa's going to grab my hand, turn me around, hug me, and ask to be friends again. Even so, I walk a little slower and do my best not to look back.

I turn the corner and I can see her still standing there from the corner of my eye. _Is she a little closer to me than the door?_ I shrug it off as a delusion and head to class.

* * *

Gaming should be a fun class, but I'm just the TA. There's nothing to grade today and, thus, I find myself sitting on a computer, playing around with Illustrator while drawing random shapes on a piece of paper. I think it's funny how I can make digital designs but can't draw or paint. I blame it on being able to erase mistakes easily on a computer.

Class is a little over an hour long and I'm bored within the first ten minutes. I let my mind wander while I doodle. Of course, my mind wanders back to Elsa. At this point, I think I've become obsessed with her. Unhealthily so. I still allow myself to go over what I know about her and what I'm aware that I don't know.

The first thing is painfully obvious. I don't know why she started avoiding me. It just…happened. I never got an explanation. I've spent a long time trying to figure out what I did wrong to no avail. _Damn it, you're making yourself sad._ _Next thought._

Another thing that seems to be plainly obvious is that she wants to be friends again. At least I hope she does. For the past few weeks, it's been a rotation of awkward moments and sudden affection. I like it, even though it confuses me. _If this is still the Elsa I know_, I muse to myself. _She just wants overcompensate but doesn't know what to do. _

That's how she had been when we were friends. Whenever she thought she did something that had hurt me or upset me, she'd go all out with the hugs, sweets, and teddies. _She probably just wants to throw affection at you right now but is too scared to do anything_.

I realize that I'm probably just deluding myself. _But she did say she missed being friends, didn't she? _I think I'm just scared that I'll get close to her again, just to be hurt later. I push this thought out of my mind as well.

I know that she plays the flute and was first chair in the state honor band. I know that she used to play piano but hated it. I know that she kept being dedicated to it to make her parents happy.

_What else do you know about her?_ I know that her birthday is mid-June. I know that she's left-handed but writes with her right so it doesn't smudge. I know that she has a cat named Olaf that she was originally going to name Butter. I know she has a deep appreciation for chocolate. _But only good chocolate_, I remind myself. I scoff when I realize that I said 'deep appreciation'. She used to tease me for saying that instead of 'love'. _Look at that, you're nervous. Falling back into an old habit, are you?_ I really hate my mind sometimes.

_Okay, let's try this again. What things you know about Elsa that actually help you with what's going on?_ I… I don't really know. _You've spent the last two years practically stalking the girl, Anna. How do you not know anything about her?_ I put my head on the desk and don't bother suppressing the words that go through my mind ceaselessly. _You say you love her and you don't know a thing about her._ I wrapped my arms around my head. _Maybe that's why she left. All you ever did was talk about yourself. She probably still knows everything about you, but what do you know?_ I feel tears coming out of my eyes.

_ If you care so much about her, why don't you seem to care enough to actually get to know her?_

I know that it's not true. I do know things about her. I just can't think of them right now. I silence the voice in my head and don't move, letting my tears silently fall. I don't actually know why I'm crying. The voice comes back for one last line. _You know who she used to be, but who is she now?_

At this point, the bell for the end of school rings. I wipe my face and pull up my hood, grabbing my bags and leaving before anyone can see me. I practically run to the nearest restroom and wash my face in the sink. I hear someone entering and I go lock myself in a stall, trying to keep my crying silent.

I want to go home.

* * *

It's funny. I chose not go home because of the person who inadvertently made me want to. I had gone passed the main gate right before I realized that I still had Elsa's racket and turned around and walked to the courts. I wasn't going to get her in trouble just because I was having a bad day. Thankfully, I wore a t-shirt and shorts to school today and didn't have to explain why I was barely on time while still wearing normal clothing.

I know I'm quiet during practice today. The coach asks me if something's wrong but I shrug it off. He leaves me alone.

Today, we don't do much. He has us run a mile before working on footwork for half an hour. Afterwards, we run another mile. It's not even four yet when he says he has to go somewhere and cuts practice short.

I pack and leave before Elsa tries to do something. I'm still upset from my crying session during Gaming and I don't want to take it out on her. I decide to walk home today, knowing that I need time to think before I actually talk to anyone. I text Kristoff, informing him that there's no need to pick me up.

The walk home is longer than it should be. What was a 15 minute, 20 minute max, walk stretches into an hour. When I finally get home, there's a note on the door.

_Anna-_

_ Went out for game night. There's a burger in the fridge. A banana, too. Eat both. _

_ -Kristoff_

_P.S. Mom's working overtime_.

I'm home alone for tonight.

* * *

The next day, I do my best to look cheery and happy but I just want to cry right now. However, most of today's classes are with Elsa and I don't want let my mood affect her. I think Elsa is still aware something's wrong because she's following me during lunch right now.

At first, I didn't think she was until I took a detour from my normal route and she was still just 20 feet behind me. I stop and face her.

"You know, if you want to walk with me, you can."

She doesn't falter in her movement towards me. She doesn't say anything until she's just a foot away.

"Are you okay? You seem off today."

I don't know what to say. I want to say something. I want to make the concern fade from her face. I can't seem to say anything. _Just say something. Anything._

"Please, Anna." She's moved closer and a slim hand rests on my forearm.

I still can't say anything. I don't know what's even going on through my mind. Thousands of things I want to say are whirling through my head, raging on like a blizzard of words. Why can't I say a single thing? _She's trying to be your friend. Just open up_.

"Please don't shut me out." She's begging. I snap.

"Don't shut you out?"

_Don't do this to yourself, Anna._

"I'm not the one who left without an explanation!"

_Anna, come on._

"You left me and you just suddenly want to be friends again?"

_You're just fucking up what's been going right._

"Don't you dare say I'm shutting you out when you shut me out for years!"

I regret every single word I say. Every emotion I have regarding the blonde girl in front of me tries to flood into a handful of sentences. Hardly any of it actually makes it but it's enough. All of the emotions that make it into those words are dark. The hatefulness and spite I've felt over the years show, but none of the love I held- _still hold-_ shows.

And Elsa… Elsa looks sorrier than I've ever seen her. Her hand drops and hangs lamely. I want to hold her hands. I want to tell her I'm so damn sorry. I want to tell her that I don't blame her and that I love her. I want to say so much and I want to fix this, but when I speak nothing comes out.

Elsa's crying. I take small step forward and she takes a larger step back. I reach a tentative hand out and she wraps her arms around herself. _You couldn't have fucked up harder, could you?_

She turns and walks away. I can hear her crying. I want to chase after her. I want to be brave enough to catch her and hold her close. I want to say that I'm sorry and that everything will be fine.

I don't. I haven't felt colder.

* * *

I'm in the restroom, crying. For the rest of lunch, I just stood there in the hallway, unmoving. People walked passed me. Some asked me what was wrong. Others offered assistance. I didn't say a word and continued to stand in that spot for the rest of lunch.

When the bell rang and I went to class, my teacher excused me and let me go to the restroom until I composed myself. She told me to change into my uniform while I was there. Now here I am.

I don't know how I'm going to face Elsa later. I'm tempted to ditch school and just get my stuff tomorrow. I refrain from doing so. _It's just prolonging the inevitable, Anna_.

I stay in the restroom until it's almost time for me to go to the bus. I'm grateful that my teacher had the foresight to tell me to change first.

The bus is running late and my teammates and I are just standing here. I can't find Elsa anywhere. People are calling and texting her, telling her to get over here so we don't leave without her. I feel my heart tightening in my chest and I don't think I can breathe.

The bus finally arrives but we still don't see Elsa anywhere. Just as we're about to leave without her, someone shouts that they see the blonde. As she boards the bus, she sits down next to me.

I'm elated for a second, happy that she's still okay enough where I can beg for forgiveness before I remember that, because the bus was late, they sent one of the nicer ones that has fewer seats that are all on one side. The only open seat left was the one next to me.

It's a stiff silence. She's staring directly at the seat in front of her, gaze unwavering. I'm berating myself for being such an idiot. I gather all my courage and give a final thanks to the seats for being so tall. No one can overhear us without specifically listening to our conversation.

"I'm sorry." But once again, I'm not the one who says it. "I sh-"

"No," I cut her off. I'm not going to let her blame herself for my idiocy. "I'm really, really sorry, Elsa."

She doesn't say anything. I take it as a cue to continue.

"I-it was uncalled for," I start, voice low. My nose is stuffy and my words come out slightly muffled. "And you didn't deserve to be yelled at and I'm so, so sorry."

She turns towards me and hesitates. The hesitation is gone as soon as it was there and she pulls me into a hug. I stiffen.

_You're supposed to be the one comforting her, not the other way around._ I force myself to relax and hug her back. It was nice to hug her again. I haven't in a really long time. I just wish it was for a happier reason.

I feel her rub my back and I pull her into a tighter hug, glad that there are no seatbelts on buses. I feel wetness on my shoulder and realize that she's crying as well. I mumble apology after apology into her shoulder.

When we calm, we let go of each other. I'm aware that she's keeping a hand on my arm.

"Can…can you tell me what was wrong?" she queries. I'm not sure what to say now, but I'm determined to say something and say something right. "I mean you don't have to…" she trails off.

I put a hand on top of hers, trying to comfort her somehow. _Two years and a shout-fest later, she's still okay with me…_ I feel a warmth inside of me.

"I..." I don't really know how to begin. "Can we just be friends?"

She looks doubtful and I can't fault her for it. She looks at my face and suddenly she seems taken with a quiet confidence.

"Of course."

There's a lot of work to be done and I know it. Two years is a long time to make up for. We both have mistakes to make up for but now we have an opportunity to do so. I feel warm inside and I smile at her. I know we're both going to make more mistakes in the future, but now I'm determined to fix all the ones we've made and the ones we will make.

The last couple days have been a rollercoaster but I'm content and I think she's content, too. She puts her other hand on top of mine and squeezes it gently.

Because, right now, it's the chance I've wanted and waited years for. Because, right now, the person I've loved from a distance is right by my side. Because, right now, things aren't even close to being perfect. But, right now, at least I have a chance.

* * *

**It's rushed, I know. I based this on some events that have happened in my life and I didn't know how to make it more realistic than this so.. yeah. I debating whether I should continue this for now..so** yeah.


	5. Chapter 5

**okay, this was meant to be waaaay longer but the first version got deleted when my computer started being a butt.**

* * *

It was almost a month into the new semester and Merida had just practically flung me at Elsa, yelling "Fix it!" behind her as she walked away. Well, let me start from, well, where it started.

* * *

After the fiasco in the hallway and bus, I thought everything would be all right again between Elsa and me. It was not. Well, it was, but it wasn't. On one hand, I got the person who I loved back as my friend. On the other, it was as if I had not.

The weeks following that big event were challenging. We did not know how to behave around each other. Sometimes we would be too touchy, other times we were too distant. Often times, Elsa would be rather possessive of me, but relenting as well. It was complicated.

It did not take long for me to adjust to allowing Elsa to initiate whatever physical affection she desired. I accepted whatever was offered without question. It ranged anywhere from extremely clingy to pushing me out of the way.

The first few times, it hurt. After a while, I took it in stride as well as I could. That, among other things. This Elsa was not the Elsa I remember. Hardly anything was still the same, which is to be expected. It's not like I'm the same naïve girl that I used to be. It'd be dumb to expect Elsa to be unchanged.

Elsa used to be extremely physically affectionate. This Elsa stepped back for the most part. Elsa used to be fun and exciting, not that this Elsa isn't, but this Elsa was much quieter than she used to be. One thing that was still the same was her adoration for good chocolate.

There was this thing that happened at the tennis banquet. Elsa was all chatty and happy with me for a while, but after Mulan and I decided to merge our budgets to split meal and Jasmine giving me my secret buddy gift, she got really quiet. In less than two minutes, the happy Elsa that swiped whipped cream from my hot chocolate was replaced by shut in Elsa. I didn't know what to do so I moved a little closer to her. I was going to hug her, but I'm not sure how she would have reacted. I made sure to ask her how she was or just any random question every few minutes. Other than answering my questions, she remained quiet.

But all that wasn't the main problem. The problem was the last day of semester, right before winter break.

I was standing next to Elsa, waiting for her ride to pick her up before I started walking home. I think there was a bit of a silence and I remember a buzzing sound that was probably her phone.

Next thing I know, her lips are on mine. As quickly as they had appeared, they had gone. Before I could react, Elsa grabbed her bag and left. Again.

"What the fuck?"

I'm not sure what happened after I said that, but I ended up at my house eventually. I spent break ignoring everyone. Someone, I forgot who, visited and tried to coax me out. I had Mom send them away. Elsa had given me a small box for Christmas but it sat unopened in one of my drawers.

I dreaded school when break was over. This was probably one of the worst ways to handle this, but I avoided Elsa. She'd sit next to me in the classes we had together and I'd look steadfastly at the board. I spent my breaks wandering from group to group for the first few weeks. I think Elsa caught on because I didn't see her near our usual group anymore. I gave it another week before I started hanging out with them again.

Eventually, Elsa got the hint and stopped sitting next to me. I tried not to pay attention to wherever she sat. Instead, I focused on making new friends.

Oh, right. I was trying to tell you what led to my current predicament.

It was a normal day, or what's been passing as normal for me lately. It was a normal, early February day after school when Merida suddenly grabbed me by my shirt and shoved me against a wall.

The words are pretty clear in my head, considering that it happened less than 10 minutes ago.

"What the hell is going on, Anna?" she demands. "What the hell happened with you and Elsa?"

I casted my eyes downward. "I don't know what you mean."

Merida pushes a finger to my forehead. "You know what I mean. There's so much tension between you two that I could stab an arrow into it and it would stay there after I let go."

"Look, I kn-"

"Just stop now, Anna," she growled. "You called that girl your best friend for most of last semester. You said that you loved her. If you did, you'd go fix it. Right now. This was something you should have done a long time ago."

She grabbed my shirt and started dragging me.

* * *

So here we are now. Elsa and I, standing next to each other, not knowing what to say or do.


	6. Chapter 6

We've probably been standing there for an eternity, but neither of us has spoken yet. Elsa's not even looking at my face. She's staring at the floor and I'm staring, almost glaring, at the top of her head. Out of context, I would think it was funny because she's a couple inches taller than me.

"So," I begin. I tried to make it come out strongly, but it's barely above a whisper. I had a lot I could probably say, but nothing's coming out. She looks up briefly before turning her gaze back to the concrete. That one syllable fades into the wind.

Another eternity passes. If it wasn't awkward before, it definitely is now. I become restless, shifting slightly from foot to foot. She's completely stationary. Another minute or two passes.

"I don't think this is going to work," I finally manage to say before I turn around and walk away. Even as I do so, even as I feel resentment and confusion, some part of me wishes that she'd grab me and turn me around and say something, anything. I walk away and I don't look back.

* * *

Between that hallway, at the very back of campus, and where I am now, the main entrance, I managed to completely zone out of reality. My feet trace the path from there to here thoughtlessly.

Externally, I have no idea what's going on. Internally, it's a war.

Am I really going to just give up on someone I've waited on for years? _You just did_. But I could fix it if I tried. _She probably doesn't want to, though._ Well, I don't know that._ And now you won't._

Whether I like it or not, I still view Elsa as my best friend. In this moment, I'm going to try to fix it. In this moment, my feet are taking me back to that spot before my mind even comprehends that I made that decision.

_You've waited three years,_ my mind yells at me. _And you have her back. You really almost let something like that destroy it?_

In my defense, that was my first kiss.

_Kiss, shmiss, it's Elsa._

Yeah, it is Elsa.

_And you just left your best friend to cry after ignoring her for over a month._

I get it, brain.

_At least you can say your first kiss was with your best friend._

Oh, shut-

Elsa's not there.

* * *

Now I don't know what to do. I should probably walk home, but I don't feel like dealing with people. I wander around aimlessly. At some point, my feet decided they would lead me to the spot Elsa always gets picked up. Maybe some part of me was hoping she was there.

She wasn't. _Damn it, why do you always have to make a decision when it's too late._

I lean against the brick wall for a while. By this time, no one's left at school except for the odd straggler from clubs or other activities. Some people greet me as they pass by. I return their greetings with unenthusiastic waves.

It was probably an hour after school ended before I decide on a place to go. I take a few seconds to tell Kristoff I won't be home for a while before I start moving.

After all these years, there's still one place that makes me feel closer to Elsa. It also makes me feel further from her, but that's beside the point right now.

With that in mind, I finish my trek to my final destination before I head home. The empty area behind the gym. Our spot.

* * *

There are a lot of things that I can expect to see when I go behind the gym. Seeing the baseball team practice is one of them. Seeing the soccer team practice is another. See a crying Elsa, curled into a ball, hidden from the baseball team by a dugout, was not one of them.

Trying to be as quiet as possible, I place my backpack on the ground and walk towards her. _Okay, she hasn't looked up yet._ I sit down a few inches away from her. _Still hasn't looked up…_

_Now what?_ For the first time in forever, I move closer to Elsa and hug her. She seizes and looks up at me, tears streaming down her cheeks. Guilt eats away at me but I ignore it. Instead, I shift us into a more comfortable position while she's still in shock. Hesitantly, she rests her head against my shoulder.

Neither of us talks but it's a much more comfortable silence than before. She's still crying and I'm just holding her close. After a while, her sobs silence and she falls asleep. I don't bother waking her up.

Right now, it feels like how it all ended. I'm holding her close while she's asleep. For this moment, I pretend everything's okay.

* * *

By the time baseball practice has ended, Elsa's still knocked out. The blonde was probably exhausted emotionally and mentally so I just let her sleep.

This gave me some time to think things over. Things like, _why_ am I mad at Elsa?

The kiss, obviously, but which part of it? And that's the question I've been avoiding for the past few months. Well, that and some others. Like, _when_ did Elsa start feeling like that? If she felt like that for a while, why did she leave me?

_If she's been having feelings for you for a while, it could explain _why_ you left. You handled it oh so well._

Shut up, brain.

I guess I have to admit that, if she left me because she was afraid of how I'd react, she had a point. _But you're not upset about how she feels about you._ That's true. Her having feelings, or whatever, didn't make her not my best friend. And I don't care about sexuality.

_And you're not mad that she kissed you._

Hey, I never said that.

_You didn't have to. I'm you. _

Crap.

It was another hour of silent debate before my thoughts settled. I'm not mad at Elsa kissing me. My brain was right; I didn't actually mind losing my first kiss to my best friend. At least, I didn't mind too terribly. I didn't care that she had feelings for me. What I do care about is that I got my best friend back and pushed her away. Now I have to fix it.

* * *

**Sorry, the timing of everything is a little weird. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Updates will have shorter chapters. I feel like I get to verbose if I write longer ones. On the other hand, I'll be updating on a more regular basis (or so I hope).**

* * *

By five, Elsa hadn't woken up and it had gotten to be cold. With it being winter time, the sun had already begun setting. I take off my jacket and wrap it around Elsa. After a few seconds of deliberation, I text Kristoff to pick me up by the pool, the closest place he could get to us with a car.

After leaning Elsa against the gym wall, I sling my backpack on my back. What do I do with her backpack? Eventually, I decide to loosen the straps so I can wear it on top of my backpack. Having settled that, I pick up Elsa bridal style. In her sleepy state, she wraps her arms around my neck and leans her head against my shoulder.

When I stand up straight, Elsa buries her face into the crook of my neck. Her skin is cool against mine and I shift around a bit in an attempt to cover her up better with my jacket.

Carrying Elsa to the pool deck isn't as much of a trial as I had imagined it would be. Elsa had always been on the slim side and I've always been much stronger than I look. The only problem was keeping my balance.

The walk there heavily involved staying close to the walls of the gym so I could lean against them. Several times, I almost dropped Elsa. Good thing the wall was there to steady me. Well, I can say I learned something new today. Carrying a 115 pound girl and her backpack can elongate a one minute walk to a ten minute grueling exercise. Not that I'm going to tell Elsa that.

By the time I get to the pool deck, Kristoff's already there. He gets out of the car and takes Elsa from my arms.

"I guess I'm taking her home?" he asks. I nod, wiping the accumulating sweat from my forehead. Really, the hard part wasn't carrying Elsa. The hard part was carrying her backpack. What did she keep in there? Bricks? I wait there while Kristoff sets Elsa down in the backseat before coming back to take her backpack from me. With just my significantly-lighter-than-Elsa's backpack, I amble to the passenger seat while making a quick call to Elsa's grandfather to tell him that we're taking her home.

I buckle the seatbelt and wait for Kristoff to start driving. Meanwhile, I turn around a just look at Elsa. Kristoff had set her on her side and tucked her legs in slightly so she could fit on the entire seat. I never actually noticed before but now I can see that Elsa's face is usually not so…relaxed like she is right now. Her brows aren't furrowed and the faintest hint of a smile graces her lips. It's nice seeing her like this.

"So what happened?"

I'm jolted out of my musings and direct my attention to my brother. "What?"

Kristoff slows down the car to just at the speed limit, something that's unusual for the burly blond with a love for speed and tendency to drive at least 10 miles per hour above the speed limit.

"You know what I'm talking about," he replies. "Do you honestly think I won't notice tear tracks on Elsa's face?"

I hush him as I turn back to look at Elsa. "Don't wake her."

He tones down his voice significantly before retorting. "You're still going to explain to me why you're having me drive a passed out girl who was crying."

I nod and we complete the drive to Elsa's house in silence.

* * *

"Thanks for being a dear, Anna," Elsa's grandmother says genially. "You really need to come around more often."

"We haven't seen you in years," her grandfather agrees. "Come around sometime and we'll make sure we have some of your favorites ready. You still like krumkake, right?"

I nod and grin. Right then, Kristoff, who had gone to lay Elsa down on the living room couch, came back. We exchanged farewells, meaning I got hugged tightly by Elsa's grandparents and Kristoff received final comments about how much he had grown since they last saw him, before leaving.

When Elsa's house was out of sight, Kristoff finally asked the question that seemed to have been plaguing his mind this entire time.

"So what happened?"

I'm not exactly sure what I want to tell him right now. He's my big brother. If I can't trust him, who can I trust? But I still feel like this is something I want to keep between just Elsa and me for now. At least until we actually fix it.

I'm not sure what I said to him but it was along the lines of getting into a fight and just barely starting to get along again. Probably. I'm really too tired to function at this point.

* * *

That night, I spend hours agonizing over texting Elsa. It's 9 p.m. by the time I manage to write and send a simple "Hey."

I waited hours for a reply. At some point, I fell asleep.

* * *

**Next chapter, I will be trying to focus on Anna and Elsa moments (flashbacks...) so...there will be tennis. There will be a trampoline involved. There will be hot chocolate. So next chapter's just gonna be fluff basically. Fluff that will be utilized to build upon Anna and Elsa's relationship to show what was lost.**


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